10 Observations From WrestleMania 33

526_wm33_04022017rf_9920-9013dbf5d03c52e6dc2fbd38506d1074

If you squint, he almost looks like classic ‘Taker.

Wow, I watched a shitload of wrestling this weekend. If you’re not into the graps, then you might as well stay away from the site this week because I’m going to be writing about it all. From Kaiju Big Battel to Evolve. However, we’re going to start off with the big daddy and talk about ten thoughts I had during WrestleMania 33. If you haven’t figured it out, there are spoilers ahead.

Average, Average, Average

079_wm33_0412017cm_0909-2d825af311186b2a87e96fd8383df00f

Shit match, but this photo is great.

It’s the only way to sum up the pre-show. On the upside, Damo – who I’m going to have to get used to calling Dain – got a good run in the Battle Royale, and it hopefully means WWE are going to take him seriously. On the downside, the rest of these three matches passed by without making a dent on my thoughts. Neville vs. Aries was alright, but we all know how much better it could have been. Mojo Rawley and ‘The Gronk’, whoever that might be, can bugger off and if that’s how we say goodbye to Big Show, WWE can fuck off. Finally, can you name a single thing that happened during Ambrose Corbin? I’ll wait.

Fuck Off McMahon

150_wm33_0412017cm_1688-b14940dbda54f6a3e3445148d703d4a5

Cry fucker cry.

I nearly turned off when Shane McMahon went all MMA on AJ Styles. There are people out there claiming this was a good match; they’re wrong. What it was, was the best wrestler in the world selling for yer da. Sure, he jumped off some things and managed to not break his neck, but that doesn’t excuse the disgrace that this was. I never want to see Shane McMahon in a ring again.

DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

299_wm33_0412017cm_4007-d5f5385da0d91a5c6d70e9bd76fc0e71

SPLENDID!

The Hardys returning to WWE was a fantastic moment. Those guys have reinvented themselves splendidly, and they are well deserving of a final run on the biggest stage. They seemed to have reverted to their Team Xtreme gimmick, but there were touches of their Broken stuff, so I’m hopeful that WWE is hitting the reset button on it rather than ditching it entirely. To be honest, it’s good either way and giving the hottest tag team in the world the belts makes perfect sense.

Raw Women Steal The Show

222_wm33_04022017rf_4192-60e93e575bec31a45f8805896c138413

Our MVPs.

For the second year in a row, the best match on the show came from the women. Sasha, Charlotte, Bayley and Nia weren’t given as long as they should have been, but they maximised the time and told a good story with everyone coming out of the match looking strong. I still wish that this had been Bayley winning the title for the first time, but my love for her allows me to forgive this. It’s hugging time.

SmackDown Women Go Back In Time

490_wm33_04022017jg_4473-8342f955ac18ca8c7542fc059864e3cf

I saw better clusterfucks this weekend.

An hour or so after the Raw women showed how far we’ve come the SmackDown women slipped back a few years. Playing the role of the buffer match, it was a multi-women clusterfuck that ultimately meant very little. The quality of the wrestlers involved lifted it above most of those showings but this still wasn’t good, and even Naomi’s well-told story didn’t do enough to make this anything but forgettable.

The Big Proposal

333_wm33_04022017rf_5879-263b667c3e97f4518e77e1a064f875b8

Awwwww.

We all knew it was going to happen, but it was still fun. John Cena is a weirdo, and I can’t imagine ever getting along with Nikki Bella, but I couldn’t help enjoy their moment. Nikki looked genuinely choked up, and I hope the two of them are smart enough to keep at least some of this shit private. Congrats to them both.

Silly Bray

437_wm33_04022017rf_7932-70b72022bbd2a59d20cdf3b2529c5fa6

There isn’t a single picture of the silly ring mat on WWE.com, I wonder why?

I said in my WrestleMania predictions that Bray and Orton would be a decent match if they kept the hocus and the pocus out of. Well, they didn’t. What the fuck was going on there? This was stupid, and it made everyone involved look bad. Bray and the company for thinking it was a good idea and Orton for going along with it. I wasn’t particularly happy with the result of the match either. Wyatt deserves a run with the belt, and while I understand this was Orton’s reward for letting Lesnar kill him, it doesn’t make me any more excited for his latest run with the strap.

Old Man Hunter

348_wm33_04022017rf_6778-bb9e1d29766333f674753baba2c817a6

This picture makes it look far more exciting than it was.

How plodding was Triple H vs. Rollins? Everyone blamed Reigns for last year’s fiasco, but it’s looking more and more likely that Hunter just can’t go anymore. From his daft entrances to his slow and boring matches I think it might finally be time for the Cerebral Assassin to call it a day. The result was right, and it was nice to see Steph go through the table, but it didn’t make up for how utterly dull this match was for most of its running time.

JR’s Back

c8ds39xu0aaah4p-0

What a man.

There’s not much to say here. I am delighted to see JR back in WWE, and after the hell he’s gone through in the last few weeks, seeing him take his spot at the announce table produced a lump in my throat. There is an argument to be made that he’s not the commentator that he once was but that voice still means the world to many, and I loved having it on my TV.

The Undertaker’s Last Ride

545_wm33_04022017rf_9662-67c3b378a0896fb493fae9dd1c048d0b

Everything has to end.

The Deadman is a legend. He’s been at the top of the game for longer than some younger wrestlers have been alive and his career speaks for itself. But, he’s getting old. He looks like an old man, and he wrestles like one too. You can see the pain etched across his face and it hurts to watch it. It is time to stop, and all the signs suggest he’s finally taking the plunge. He did it in the right way too. People complaining about Reigns going over don’t get it. ‘Taker is a pro, and his legacy isn’t just his matches but the guys he put over on the way. Going out on your back is a tradition for a reason, and a man with the class of the Undertaker was never going to do it any other way.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s